dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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