im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
