It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
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God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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