shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
