it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
