You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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