hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I want to have your abortion
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
