Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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