Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
