so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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