The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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