we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my shit smells like andre
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
