the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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