I would go down on you faster than GM stock
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
