I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
