love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
