I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
