Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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