is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
