He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So many bounce houses so little time
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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