I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The air taste purple.
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