I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
