my shit smells like andre
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
