my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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