I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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