Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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