ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
