:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
