Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize