So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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