Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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