What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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