I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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