At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just cropdusted the office
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
