She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
