I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
