i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
