Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
