Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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