Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I still have a little drunk in my system
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
