What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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