Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
