Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
