how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
