i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize