man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
