STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
