I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
