I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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