Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
