how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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