At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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