A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
