rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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