Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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