It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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