Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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