so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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