So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You are a genius and a whore.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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