Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
