i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
