I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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